It was Free Pastry Day at Starbucks. My thighs are not as excited about this as the rest of me. In fact, my thighs wanted to know, did you not just feed us a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel from Panera? Are you out of your damn mind? To my thighs, I responded, But, it was an asiago bagel! All bets are off when there's asiago involved. And it was breakfast and lunch. I'm not going to eat my free pastry yet, so step off. I'll put it in the fridge, and heat up that flaky, free croissant later -- like for dinner or something, when I will unabashedly smother it with either hubs homemade chicken salad or a giant gob of butter. My thighs weren't done. Are you aware that bathing-suit-season is just around the corner? Do you not recall that picture your husband took of you walking down a honeymoon beach a mere eighteen months ago? (You know, the one in which we had a striking resemble to cottage cheese?) Me: Hey! We promised to never bring that up again! What happened...
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