Too Many Books

I've given up breastfeeding. I lasted four and a half months. In truth, I've mostly just been breast pumping , because my supply was never extensive enough to keep up with Stella. For weeks now, I've been pumping less and less milk... it just wasn't there. And it wasn't worth the time it takes (5 to 6 pumping sessions a day @ about 30 minutes each = time I could be playing with Stella. Or sleeping.) I did nurse her sometimes, and I thought I wanted to have "one more" nursing session with the knowledge that it would be the very last time I would feed her from my breast. I knew it would be hard, emotionally, so I decided to forget it. Usually, I'm a sucker for anything that will make me feel sappy and require Kleenex. But I'll always have fond memories of the last time... The last time I nursed her was a couple of weeks ago. She had the flu, and she wouldn't take her bottle. I literally had to force her to eat; she was only getting an ounce...

  "Who IS this woman holding me? I don't even know her anymore!"   Clearly, I've had no time to blog since returning to the working world last Tuesday. Le sigh. Any free time I have in the morning and evenings is reserved for Stella. God, the guilt of being away from her for so many hours SUCKS. I know it will be even harder when she's a little older and screams, "Mommy, nooooOOOO! Don't leave meeeeeeeeeeeee!" Hubs was home with Stella last week, but she starts day care tomorrow. I'm a little concerned about how on earth I am going to get the two of us out the door, drop her off, and still and make it to work by 8:15 in the morning. (Let's just be honest. I pretty much know I'll be late to work tomorrow, since it will be our first try... but I'm talking about how in the hell I'm going to do it everysingledayspice.) Anywhine, going back to work was a bit stressful, but not completely horrible. Trying to catch up on...

Yeah, I've been in such a baby bubble for the last 8 weeks that yesterday afternoon I told my husband I was going to cheer for the Jets to win the Superbowl. (And I actually do like sports!) Fail. It's my last day of maternity leave: I go back to work tomorrow morning. The mix of emotions is intense, and Stella doesn't even start day care until next Monday, since hubs is on vacation and will be staying home with her this week. (I'll be coming home at lunch time for a little breastpumping/ cuddle session. YAY!) Speaking of breast pumping, I'm a little concerned as to how that will work out for me at the bank. I'm thankful that my right to pump is federally mandated, but, um... bank branch = cameras everywhere. And a few camera monitors, too. I'm pretty sure my pumping location options include:  a freezing cold restroom (thankfully, there are two restrooms in my branch, so I could theoretically occupy one for twenty + minutes without any inconven...

BREASTFEEDING! I'm attending my first prenatal class this evening at the hospital where I will deliver the baby in December. This particular class is all about breastfeeding, a subject which intimidated me less before I google-image-searched it. (Seriously, boys. Go wild. I've never seen so much areola in my life.) I really hope breastfeeding works out for me, though... because I need to do it to save money. (Okay, I'm looking forward to that bond with the baby, too.) I was going over a few budgeting issues last night and I realized that by the time my child is a toddler we will probably be living out of our car. Oh, but she'll have a really nice day care Monday - Friday from morning til night. So, that's cool. I just can't get over it: $190 a week?! For daycare?! It sounds so insanely expensive, but I figure baby will be there 9 hours a day/ 5 days a week... which really only works out to about $4.2222222 an hour. But, I digress. I was supposed to ...