Too Many Books

Yesterday I posted my "day in the life" piece, but oddly enough -- it was not a Typical Tuesday. I took the afternoon off from work. I skipped out of the office bankbranch office ( office sounds so much cooler!) at 2:00. And literally, I skipped out. There is just something about free time which turns me into a giddy twelve-year-old girl. I came home and pounded out the afforementioned blog post. Then, I had to hit up the DMV to renew my tags and pay taxes on dear Bella (my cherry-red Pontiac Vibe) and her boyfriend Edward (hubs sporty blue Niassan Senta.) (Clearly, hubs has no idea that I've named his vehicle after an old man who loves jailbait. You know, I'm really not sure he'd be cool with it, either. Oh, wait -- I'm certain he wouldn't dig it.) Assuming there would be a torturous wait at the ever-bustling Department of Motor Vehicular Annoyance and Expense, I walked in with my story on my mind and my notebook in my purse. However, the a...

Stolen from Sierra Godfrey (who stole it from someone else) and Travener (who stole it from Sierra) 6:32 a.m. -- Curse alarm radio, which is currently set on a country station. 6:33 a.m. -- Curse  hubs, who has not yet hit snooze. 6:39 a.m. -- Curse six-minute snooze. 6:45 a.m. -- Consider another snooze. Realize hubs is still in bed and that morning laptop time will belong to me if I go ahead and haul myself out of bed. 6:47 a.m.-- Contemplate making coffee. Audibly curse, remembering that bedroom alarm clock is five minutes fast and that it is actually 6:52 a.m. 6:53 a.m. -- Start coffee. Grab diet pepsi from fridge anyway. 6:55 a.m. -- Open blogger to check for new comments while lighting cigarette and opening diet pepsi. 6:57 a.m. -- Open reader and check out a few blogs, opting to keep most unread so I may savor them later. 7:00 a.m. -- Realize I'd better pour a cup of coffee now if I hope drink a cup before work. 7:05 a.m. -- Wish with fierceness that ...

This Saturday evening, the coolest ever thing happened. I Skyped. Not only did I skype, but I skyped with the lovely, talented, wonderful, awesomespice Tina Sandoval . (It was only the conference-call kind of Skype... no video feed. Thankfully. I am pretty sure I was wearing some ratty t-shirt at the time.) Hearing my Sweetest Niblet's voice from the speakers of my little laptop, I felt like I was taking to a gal pal who was right down the street -- not time zones away in Arizona. It. was. divine. We talked about our writing, we chatted about blog posts of the past... we talked for an hour. She, of course, wanted to know when I am going to make good on the vloggy part of her giveaway win, and asked when I would be posting my karaoke-dedication. (I quickly changed the subject.) (But it will happen eventually.) (And by eventually, I clearly mean: don't hold your breath. I have to gear up for it, which means finding just the right song and rehearsing it until I s...

You've been warned. This post may be a little sleepy, because I am litearally nodding off as I type these words. So, it's clearly fatespice that I decided to participate in my first Friday Five meme today. 1.How many hours’ sleep do you need in order to be at your best, and what’s the minimum you can get on a regular basis and still be functional? I need eight hours. I prefer more. Sometimes, I sleep ten or twelve hours on the weekends. (Shh. Don't tell people.) I can survive with six hours, but seriously, if I only get six hours my demeanor screams pothead. I either act aloof or braindead, usually both. 2.What’s your favorite sleeping position? Ahh, I love to sleep on my stomach with my arms curled underneath me boobies. (Yes, I basically, feel myself up while I'm sleeping.) Sometimes when I wake up I have no feeling at all in my arms or hands -- or that creepy tingling sensation. 3.What was the cause of your most recent difficulty sleeping? Well, las...

Nice pants, wanna... ? So, a couple of weeks ago the manager at my branch had a super busy day. He didn't even take a lunch! He was literally in his office all day long, bombarded with customer after customer. Suffice it to say, when he came up to the teller area at 4:45, he was famished and informed us that he was going to "lunch" and would see us all on Monday. After the obvious, "Yeah, go on and go. You must be starvingspice!" I went ahead and decided to compliment his wardrobe. (Nothing wrong with staying on his good side!) (Plus, he had on this light purple shirt, a sharp looking tie, and black and white [kindofhot] pin-stripe dress pants.) So, yours truly tells him, "You know, I really like your outfit. I just noticed, because  I haven't seen your pants all day! " One of my tellers turned beet red and burst into boy-giggles. "Are you aware of how that sounds?!" Oh. So, I had to admonish my teller. "Mind! Gutter!...

For those of you who thought my post from yesterday was the funniest yet -- many, many thanks. I sort of don't know what to say today. I mean, anything I type is just going to be anticlimacticspice and will inevitably fail in comparison. There are those who do a weekly theme -- it's called wordless Wednesday -- in which they merely post a photo without blogging about it at all. To me, that's not lazy... it's willpower. When I sit down with this blank white space at my disposal, I got things to say. I've kept it bottled up all day. I can't just upload a photo and go -- no, where's the emotional cathartic release fun in that? So, I had to commentate a little first. Now, I'll show you some photos. Well, after some more commentary. I spent last weekend with my 4.5 year old niece. Before we went to dinner, I decided to freshen up a bit. She refused to leave my side while I fixed my face. I decided to put a little make-up on her, and she informed me...

It was Free Pastry Day at Starbucks. My thighs are not as excited about this as the rest of me. In fact, my thighs wanted to know, did you not just feed us a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel from Panera? Are you out of your damn mind? To my thighs, I responded, But, it was an asiago bagel! All bets are off when there's asiago involved. And it was breakfast and lunch. I'm not going to eat my free pastry yet, so step off. I'll put it in the fridge, and heat up that flaky, free croissant later -- like for dinner or something, when I will unabashedly smother it with either hubs homemade chicken salad or a giant gob of butter. My thighs weren't done. Are you aware that bathing-suit-season is just around the corner? Do you not recall that picture your husband took of you walking down a honeymoon beach a mere eighteen months ago? (You know, the one in which we had a striking resemble to cottage cheese?) Me: Hey! We promised to never bring that up again! What happened...