Too Many Books

Hmm . I typed the title of this blog and then looked at it and said out loud, "RE - solutions." Since lately I feel a lack of resolve for anything other than my own personal pity party, I think I'll look at January 1st a bit differently this year. I won't have any New Year's Resolutions. I will just try to think of new solutions for my past problems - I'll re-solute. For instance, I'll start with my mp3 player. It's been driving me nuts. My computer died and I bought a lap-top. I tried to re-install and re-subscribe to Rhapsody, as my account with them had expired. That worked fine; I've logged in and listened to songs and they've certainly debited my bank account every month, but... I can only listen to songs while I'm sitting at my lap top. When I try to listen to songs using my little, cheap, piece-of-shit device, this error message comes up that says I need to " synchronize my device." I don't know how to do this; thus, I...

Lately I find I procrastinate more than ever. This life is difficult to lead. I used to claim I worked well on a deadline. However, older and wiser, I know now that I work well on someone else's deadline: self-imposed deadlines are harder to meet, and its easy to give oneself an extension. I procrastinate daily. I wait until THE very last minute to get in the shower and start getting ready for work. I wait until THE very last minute to Christmas shop, assemble and wrap gifts. I wait until THE very last minute to do dishes. (That only means that I do dishes when the sink is full and starting to smell a bit off, and my husband is making snide remarks about not being able to cook in our dirty kitchen.) Let me be fair to myself: I don't procrastinate at work. I have been deemed a workaholic, but I don't take actual work home with me. I'm paid hourly; I don't work for free. The only work I bring home is the mental and emotional baggage of the work day. That's even mo...

Some years ago, almost four years ago, people including doctors thought I might suffer from bipolar disorder. I'll leave out the gory details, but I kid you not - for more than a week I could not sleep, eat, or really function at all. The wheels in my head were turning. I felt a creative genius, that I could conquer all my fears and start a fulfilling career. I sought information. I talked to anyone who wanted to give me advice or was willing to listen. I thought I could become an advertising exec or an event planner. I wanted to use my college degree in English, my minor in communication. I did a ton of reading, writing, and talking. I ended up in the hospital. I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance. I took an ungodly amount of doctor prescribed medication. I crumbled. I couldn't go back to work for months - well, a couple of months. I had to reintegrate myself back into my job as a waitress. I was embarrassed . I was groggy. I was done with ambition. This happened almost ...