Too Many Books

1. I'm going to run over my neighbor's cat. Not on purpose. It won't be my fault. See, he likes to lounge in my driveway (the cat, not the neighbor) and when I try to pull my car into said driveway, the damn cat does not budge. I actually had to stop at the top of my driveway yesterday and shoo him to get him to skedoodle. And that was a lot of work. So, I'm considering accidental-looking cat murder. 2. I felt really fat today, and I kept complaining about  mentioned it. In front of an obese coworker. Then, I felt insensitive and fat. 3. Is anyone else watching Big Brother? Or am I the only one? Anyone planning on watching Bachelor Pad? It starts Monday and I am already salivating over the impending sleeze. 4. Seriously, I love writing for Examiner.com . Check out all the articles I've written so far here.  (Also, read my super cute bio. It rocks, if I do say so myself.) 5. Something in my kitchen reekslikeass. It might be my leftover-leftovers fr...

I'll be unplugged next week while I'm at the beach getting my vacay on. Yes, I know you'll miss me, but absence makes the heart grow even fonder! For the record, I am quite behind on my google reader. I'm hoping to catch up and visit all your fabulous blogs before I leave. Mama loves you! In other news, is this not awesome?! ... I'll be back next week with photos galore of my bathing suit baby bump (which will probably be made up of about 14 pounds of peel-and-eat shrimp and other beachy treats. If I can't drink frozen adult beverages, you'd better believe I'll be reaching levels of intoxication via food.) Good-bye, land lubbers. I'm beach bound!

God, I suck at blogging lately. Anyway. A few things: Preggo-vision I've got to stop watching those baby shows on the Discovery Health Channel. Most episodes are graphic, stress-inducing, and wrap up with happy endings that make me cry. Baby Dreams I had a dream last night that my baby was born, like, yesterday. He was a boy, but he was the size of a toddler and could pretty much walk and talk. I was like, "What do you want your name to be?" He had a big nose. He looked a lot like hubs side of the family. I sort of woke up in a cold sweat. Number Two For the first time in two days... this morning... It was heavenspice. o-face Hubs and I got busy a couple of nights ago. The reason I was willing is because he bribed me with the last ice cream drumstick. I'm like a chocolate prostitute. He paid me in the form of a frozen treat for sex. Yes, that is hillarious. However, the official TMI part is that the sexy-time was even more enjoyable than usual. May...

For those of you who read my TMI post yesterday , I have a confession to make: it was truth or scare in disguise. The entire story is true except the last paragraph. Though I was the waitress of the family in question, years after the camp events described, I did not contaminate their food with any of my bodily juices. Confessing that the end of the story is untrue is not very fun. In fact, I feel my ego deflating a bit as I type this now. I wish I was that person -- someone able to perform acts of sweet revenge. But, in my six years (plus) as a waitress, I never once messed with anyone's food. I mean, I may have peed once mid-shift and neglected to wash my hands, but let's be honest -- who hasn't done that a time or two? I'm crestfallen. Yesterday marks the first time I have fabricated a story for TMI Thursday. (It's way more fun to tell the truth.) I feel there is a penance to pay -- that I must redeem myself for the untruth that was told. I th...

I'm home for lunch. It's such a treat to get to compose a blog post during the day. Oh, wait. I don't know what to write about. I need a topic. There are several things I could tell you about -- my new job, the amount of money I have spent in the last two weeks due to  not coming home for lunch, how cold it is in Kentucky today, and (in related news) about the snowstorm that we may or may not get tonight or tomorrow morning. So, there's plenty to choose from. Let's start with the new job -- I love it. I have really clicked with the staff, the customers are all friendly, and it's been an easy transition (with the expception of the 8:15 a.m. arrival.) However, I'm still really glad it's Friday. I'll be even happier when it's time to lock the bank doors at 6:05 tonight. I am looking forward to the weekend, and the possibility of being snowed-in is, which is quite appealing. I will watch movies and college basketball and read books a...

Is it completely lame to take a nap at six p.m. on a Friday night? I'll be honest, crawling into my bed right now for a little shut-eye is more appealing than: eating dinner reading watching a movie writing drinking listening to music shopping watching television sex. I'm clearly still adjusting to my new work schedule. I haven't been this tired since that time the hubster and I went to bed at eight o'clock on a Saturday night. (You should have seen us the next morning -- up and six and saying, "Um, now what do we do?" We obviously don't normally wake up so early on a Sunday morning. I think we sat on the couch in a daze until the basketball game we wanted to watch actually started at noon. And we discovered breakfast, which is actually a morning meal. Who knew?) Oh, I did want to watch that Hope for Haiti telethon tonight. (Good thing, too, since it's going to be on like everysinglechannel there is.) I just checked and it starts at 8:0...

In the past little while, I have received several blog awards. Blog awards make me feel warm and fuzzy inside and cause me to jump up and down and clap my hands together. Sweet Shandal gave me this happy award and now I am supposed to tell you ten things that make me happy. So, I will. 1. Peace and quiet when I get home from work, which I am so not experiencing at this moment. 2. Sleeping in until noon. Or, waking up earlier than that and not needing to rush around to go anywhere. 3. Breakfast for dinner. 4. Blog comments. (Seriously, I think it causes a spike in my seratonin.) 5. Wearing purple. 6. My niece, Carley, who is specialspice. 7. Ending things with spice because I jock busybeelauren . 8. icky love stuff. 9. karaoke. 10. water: of the ocean, the pool, and the hot tub variety. For the record, Pink Flipflops bestowed this award on me about a month ago, and I would like to publicly thank her now, though I did so at the time on a blog comment. I am also sup...

I was tagged by Tina . I love that she tagged me, because I like to answer questions about myself, escpecially with words. I am not a fan of surveys that require a click of a radio button to opt for one of multiple choices. So now that I have established that, I am required (upon penatly of nothing) to tag to other writerly souls. I pick Travener and Roni , and will happily await their responses should they feel compelled to participate. 1. What's the last thing you wrote? What's the first thing you wrote that you still have? Well, the last thing I wrote was a little re-vamp of my mc's breakup with her first serious boyfriend in my WIP. It was kind of fun to be a bit melodramatic, since Laurel is well aware that she is acting that way, and it sort of scolding herself for it. I dig it. The first thing I wrote (creatively) and held onto was a children's book for Young Author's called FREDDY THE BAKER. But, in fairness, I had help from my dad. So, the first t...

I did it. I faithfully blogged every day this week, because I am the most awesome person you know. Most people love Fridays; it's the last day of the work week, sometimes it's payday, it's the start of the weekend if you work a nine-to-five, it might be date night, blah. Etc. TGI- eff-ing F. Bankers do not love Fridays, because it's always somebody's payday. On Fridays many of these somebodies want to cash their paychecks although they do not have a checking account and they are no more interested in opening a checking account than they were when you asked them last Friday, when they got their last paycheck and, really? There's a $10.00 check cashing fee? That's bullshit. You mean to tell me that you are going to charge me ten entire dollars to cash a check drawn on your own god damn bank? Yes, sir. We can cash it for you as a courtesy, since the check is drawn on our bank and we can verify that the funds are available, but we charge you ten entire...