Too Many Books

Hmm . I typed the title of this blog and then looked at it and said out loud, "RE - solutions." Since lately I feel a lack of resolve for anything other than my own personal pity party, I think I'll look at January 1st a bit differently this year. I won't have any New Year's Resolutions. I will just try to think of new solutions for my past problems - I'll re-solute. For instance, I'll start with my mp3 player. It's been driving me nuts. My computer died and I bought a lap-top. I tried to re-install and re-subscribe to Rhapsody, as my account with them had expired. That worked fine; I've logged in and listened to songs and they've certainly debited my bank account every month, but... I can only listen to songs while I'm sitting at my lap top. When I try to listen to songs using my little, cheap, piece-of-shit device, this error message comes up that says I need to " synchronize my device." I don't know how to do this; thus, I

Lately I find I procrastinate more than ever. This life is difficult to lead. I used to claim I worked well on a deadline. However, older and wiser, I know now that I work well on someone else's deadline: self-imposed deadlines are harder to meet, and its easy to give oneself an extension. I procrastinate daily. I wait until THE very last minute to get in the shower and start getting ready for work. I wait until THE very last minute to Christmas shop, assemble and wrap gifts. I wait until THE very last minute to do dishes. (That only means that I do dishes when the sink is full and starting to smell a bit off, and my husband is making snide remarks about not being able to cook in our dirty kitchen.) Let me be fair to myself: I don't procrastinate at work. I have been deemed a workaholic, but I don't take actual work home with me. I'm paid hourly; I don't work for free. The only work I bring home is the mental and emotional baggage of the work day. That's even mo

Some years ago, almost four years ago, people including doctors thought I might suffer from bipolar disorder. I'll leave out the gory details, but I kid you not - for more than a week I could not sleep, eat, or really function at all. The wheels in my head were turning. I felt a creative genius, that I could conquer all my fears and start a fulfilling career. I sought information. I talked to anyone who wanted to give me advice or was willing to listen. I thought I could become an advertising exec or an event planner. I wanted to use my college degree in English, my minor in communication. I did a ton of reading, writing, and talking. I ended up in the hospital. I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance. I took an ungodly amount of doctor prescribed medication. I crumbled. I couldn't go back to work for months - well, a couple of months. I had to reintegrate myself back into my job as a waitress. I was embarrassed . I was groggy. I was done with ambition. This happened almost

Sponsored in part by WFPK and First Capital Bank of Kentucky, Dar Williams at The Clifton Center last night was emotionally moving and inspiring. I am not sure I could have enjoyed it more than I did. I kept pinching myself and my "date" to ensure it was real. Dar and her guitar, acoustic. Dar, singing many of the songs that got me through the last decade, songs that shaped my little worldview, songs that sometimes let me escape. Do any of my few readers know the singer/songwriter? I was blessed to interview Dar in the late October of 2000 for the University of Kentucky's student newspaper. I was able to talk to her over the phone, and she was friendly, engaging, and happy to answer the questions I was obliged to ask her. (The first album she bought might have been The Who, the first concert she remembers attending was The Police, etc.) When I went to her show the night before the presidential election in the year 2000, I was sick. Literally. The next day I wound up in

I first wrote this on facebook, but here it is again, filed in a spot in my heart and now, here... IUPUI By Amberv Murphy Filed in : Recap Did anyone else attend Tuesday night's barn burner against IUPUI, or "ewwy-pooewy" as my hubby, a Louisville fan, called them? I was lucky enough to sit in the North Lodge (a la "stand up, old people") during the second half and the energy in the crowd was ELECTRIC. I was pinching myself to score such great tickets at a great price. Ten rows from the floor, I sported my 87' champs t-shirt, which I've worn since my dad gave it to me in the 80's, so it's threadbare but perfect. I'm die hard, bleeding crimson and cream, and never daunted, though I had to move away from Bedford, Indiana to Louisville as a child. I never wavered from my Hoosier loyalty. Through it all, we are tried and true. It doesn't matter how young or inexperienced we are this year, or what sanctions are imposed on us for our blissful y

Friends like these are the best in life: they are the ones you can't help but quote, yet you respect them enough to not reveal their identity. You try to keep all their secrets, but sometimes forget when you say you'll take things to the grave for them. You love them dearly, so dearly, sooo dearly. You are inspired by them; you laugh at them and with them. My friend said this: I'm down because I'm getting old. Yes, old. I'm getting grayer, fatter, wrinklier, blinder, deafer and achier. Yes, I know those aren't real words, but this aging process should not be real either! I can't even do cardio because of a pinched nerve in my foot, so, I starve myself just to maintain. I recently discovered the illusive hangover. I never knew it could take an entire day to recover from drinking - not drunk, just DRINKING. And who knew that driving at night would become such a chore? I know that I would be better off with my glasses (which I lost in NY last month), but findin

So: the bride's big day, she feels like a princess. Well, maybe. I would say I felt like Audrey Hepburn doing red carpet, were she young and modern in the world where I live today. I felt like a starlet, a diva, an Oscar Winner giving an acceptance speech. I wasn't bitchy, I didn't demand things, except a straw for a pre -ceremony bud lite. My wedding day could not have been more amazing. My honeymoon to Myrtle Beach, SC was actually enhanced by the impending tropical storm we named Hanna. (We being whoever names storms, not my new husband or myself.) We arrived in MB late on Labor Day, the first of September. The tropical storm wind and rain didn't come in until Friday afternoon. The rain came down in diagonal sheets. The wind ripped through us with watery pin pricks that stung even the slightest sunburn. The ocean and the waves crept closer and covered the beach. Idiots and their children were swimming, late night, where a sandy beach used to be - hours before the sto

Last night my husband and I went to Fourth Street Live! to see Lisa Lampanelli at the new Wet Willie's comedy club. It's expensive but really nice. I think we spent around $200.00 for the night -- ridiculous, but whatever. Lisa Lampanelli, if you don't know, does the Comedy Central Roasts of people like Will Shatner and Flava Flav. She also roasted Gene Simmons and does other stand up and other stuff with Howard Stern. She's filming for HBO right now. She is SO crude and funny. I freaking love her. I wanted to sit up front since there were plenty of open seats, but my hubby wasn't excited about having the broad be mean to him... and we ran into a former coworker who insisted we sit in his section, which was in the middle of the club, so she didn't pick on us at all. Boo. When the show ended I was first out of my seat and in line to get her autograph and to have my picture taken with her. Yay! She said she liked my purple dress and thanked me for spreading the wo

So, yesterday was fun. Three of the employees at my branch, myself included, almost passed out because our gas furnace was spitting out enought carbon monoxide to make us sick. Apparently, our maintenence department came by at some point on Tuesday for routine maintenence on our furnance. That's the day one of my coworkers reported severe headaches. By Wednesday afternoon, she was completely irritable and thought the heater in the branch wasn't working correctly. She's new to the Ohio Valley, having grown up in Florida, so I think she was trying to justify it: "I'm just not used to running the heater. " But she insisted something was wrong with it and brought in two space heaters yesterday (Thursday) so we wouldn't have to run the heat. Well, the heat still kicked on several times, and another coworker complained late yesterday afternoon of vertigo, racing heartbeat, feeling nauseated, etc. I was all, "What's wrong with her?!" until I went ov

I wish Louisville posted more articles about the potential issues with PNC getting bailout money to buy my bank! http://www.usnews.com/blogs/the-home-front/2008/10/27/congressman-wants-pnc-nat-city-deal-investigated.html So, the comptroller of the bailout money, John Dugan, will benefit from denying NCB bailout funds to save herself while giving PNC more than is allowed to buy NCB... Dugan will possibly benefit because he used to be a lawyer for PNC and probably has a giant stake in PNC stock, per my understanding of the article above. ARRGGH! This one guy wants to investigate it all, so maybe they will overturn the sale and NCB can stay NCB after all! Now that might be ideal. I'm sitting here in Louisville, getting ready to go to work at my National City branch, and crossing my fingers.

Does everyone watch Heroes the way I do? Yes, I love the actors, the action, and the story. However, I have found lately that I watch the show from a lens that asks, "How does this actually relate to life?" This season, we find that the Patrelli parents are running opposing corporations, each with different agendas. Interestingly, we can't really pinpoint which is good or which is evil, and maybe neither is entirely good or evil... a facet of good television today which I adore. This idea that we can't fairly choose a side is one of the things I love about JJ Abrahms and those writers over at LOST. I wanted to side with Hayden's cheerleader Daddy, but now I'm wondering if Papa Patrelli and Pinehurst have it closer to right. We can't really know. Whoever is in charge - whoever has the power - can spin their product, their services, their ideals to get more money, more power, more control. This problem, or this fact in general, seems to be rearing its

yup, four days after the announcement of my promotion i wake up to find out the bank has been bought out... just like that. I found out from my husband, who also works for NCB. His branch opens earlier than mine; he found out first. i'm not convinced that anyone in louisville knew about this until they reported to work friday morning. the good news is that, for now, I still have a job. the "transaction" will take months to finalize - sometimes bank buy-outs take years, but i feel like they will move quickly on this, as they are buying us up with government bailout money. the bad news? there are 56 national city branches in louisville and 48 of the other branches here, too. the market overlaps for us, cincy and pittsburgh. the problem is a market share that is greater than the fdic will allow. i think this means, that even if they wanted to operate over 100 branches in the louisville area that they just can't. so, for me personally, i wonder what will become of my na

I did it! I am the new office manager at the Springhust branch. We're right next door to Walgreens, near Red Robin and across the street from Northeast Christian church. It was a hard fought battle to sell myself, interview well, and earn the confidence of my new manager and my current district boss. Everyone I tell says they are so proud of me - and honestly, I'm proud of myself. I never thought I would end up staying in banking, but look at me now. The world of finance is my oyster... Stop in and see me after the first of November.

Do full moons really make people act crazy? Yesterday was a looong day for me. Everyone and their mom was overdrawn; everyone and their mom had multiple overdraft fees at the bank. Has the financial diaster of our time made the general public stop being responsible for their own finances? Do we think that just because banks may get a government bailout (so nicely coined as a "rescue plan") that fees for overdrawing your account will suddenly be null and void? I visited a website yesterday when an upset customer wanted documentation regarding post-dated checks. (Please, don't write them or count on the person or business you make the check out to as far as keeping their word not to cash it until said date on the check. They can deposit it ahead of time if they want, and it will most likely clear your account before you are ready.) Anywho, the website I found is http://www.bankingsuggestions.com/ . I found it interesting and informative. YAAAAAY! Banking is fun for everyone

Oh, how they would laugh at me if I went into politics. I registered independent in 2000, my first year of eligibility. I voted for Ralph Nader after writing a paper about the unfairness of the two party system. I hold onto this belief. I often use the analogy that folks don't always want apples and oranges; sometimes people like eating mangoes and blueberries or a pomegranate. My dad told me I wasted my vote, and I argued that it is only important to educate yourself and become part of the process. By 2004 my feelings were similar, but I voted for John Kerry. I didn't love him, but I was scared of the direction in which Bush was leading our country. I always feel election year stress, but that year was the worst for me. I felt very concerned about where we were headed when Bush started his second term. Perhaps it wouldn't have mattered. Perhaps we would be worse off now, in 2008, had Kerry held the reins. I really don't know, nor does it matter. It's an unrealisti

Monday, there's football. Ahhh, watching the Browns clobber the Giants was lovely. It was only a matter of time before Eli Manning threw an interception or three. Yes, I'm a Colts fan. Yes, I like Peyton way more. Sue me! I think I relate to P better than E since P and I are both oldest children. Wait. Is that even true? Are their other Manning brothers out there? I should google it in a new window to ensure I am correct rather than writing out of my ass, but for all intents and purposes, it doesn't really matter. Write what you know, or write whatever you can conjure up. Facts don't matter. Ask most conservatives. Back to ESPN. Tuesday, there's poker. Suck outs, Phil Hellmuth bitching and moaning, the lame jokes of Norman Chad... it just doesn't get better. I love watching the main event. I watched rather obsessively in 2006 and 2007. Both years I found out the winner before the show even aired. One year, I read it in Velocity - it was the only time I've ev

So last night we saw a Who Dun' It Murder Mystery live theatre show at Mastersons. I was a little miffed that my husband was the only person at our table to identify the killer. Well, no, I wasn't bothered that he was the only one at our table who figured it out - I was just mad because he deduced and I didn't! We also went to Third Avenue Cafe for drinks. I haven't been in there for ages. My friend Megan describes it as "the friends coffeehouse but with liquor." The band was already tearing down their set when we arrived, around 9:00, but I imagined Phoebe riding away in a cab humming Smelly Cat to herself. I finished the night at Mr. G's in Middletown, sans my moody hubby, who was ready to call it at night at ten in the evening on a Saturday. He said he didn't feel well. Maybe being thirty and a half years old does that to a man: maybe getting married does that to a man. It worked out nicely for me, though, as I got to get properly smashed and rid

Today, I have my first ever appointment with a therapist. How exciting! Well, let me be frank. It isn't my first session ever. However, when I tried therapy in the past, it usually ended with me crying uncontrollably and making a hasty exit. Google or you tube the song "What Do You Hear in These Sounds" for a better understanding of my feelings regarding therapy: "...and oh, how I loved/everybody else/when I finally got to talk/so much about myself..." I'm not sure why, exactly, I am going to therapy - and hope no one judges me or finds it terribly self indulgent. I am making a bunch of life changes... marriage, submitting writing samples to various publications, toying with the idea of pursuing an MFA... and I feel that therapy will help me to keep it all in perspective. I tend to attempt involvement in too many things at once. Perhaps I feign involvement, because it too often doesn't pan out into being actually involved. Err... sorry. I'll save it

i am a banker. online bill payments are not supposed to be difficult. however, i've made the unbelievable error of waiting too long to pay my best buy credit card... it's due soon, and it's a holiday weekend! (everyone knows it's columbus day on monday, right?!) anywho, i am now locked out of the best buy website, because i apparently tried too many passwords. getting someone to help me reset the shit is proving impossible. oh, how i love my 46'' television, and oh, how i am getting ready to use a large chunk of my cash-on-hand to pay it off. since i am locked out of the online system, i'll have no choice but to pay it over the phone if i don't want a late fee. however, i will be forced to pay a $15.00 charge for using the telephone system to make this payment. in the words of amy poehler and seth meyers, "really?!" Really? Oh my God, really?! Seriously?! Banks just got seven trillion million dollars from the government to stay afloat and i hav