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Chicken and Clutter Soup for the Soul

Dividing the hours in the day between my demanding full time job, finishing my manuscript, and trying to build a writer's platform has been a challenge that I have embraced. I wake up before my alarm, excited to roll out of bed and start the day. 

I hope the novelty (pun intended!) doesn't wear off. I've gone from 45,000 words to 60,000 words since Sunday - 4 days of writing. Granted, some of these scenes were already written and some of the increase was a mere matter of me fumbling through stained manila folders, the notes app on my phone, some old unpublished blog posts and pulling it together from the cluttered notes I've kept over about 12-13 years of working toward this goal.

My brain tends to struggle with organization. The above referenced job has really helped me from a "save this in a folder" standpoint, but in my personal life I find that sometimes I start to get bogged down in a mess of thoughts, ideas, tasks.... and then the brain scramble takes hold.

When I was planning my 20 year high school reunion two years ago I had a LOT going on. I'd just been through a breakup, I was doing some home renovations, my dog and grandma were both old and dying, and I was embarking on a new and unexpected love story. Oh, and I was only 1 year in after landing a job promotion that had nearly doubled my salary. Plus, a daughter (8 yrs old at the time.)

I stopped sleeping well. Then, I stopped sleeping. I had to-do lists scattered everywhere.

My to-do lists started referencing other to-do lists. I couldn't focus or find anything. It was the worst possible time to try to start writing again. I began to spin in my own shit - planning to sit down and write, but instead, reviewing old notebooks and journals, sending emails that were too long and tangential. Ideas would come at the worst time - as soon as I lay down for bed. That still happens. I'm sure you can relate.

Even then, two years ago,  I wasn't strong or confident or capable enough for focus. 

I'm not sure what shifted. Probably the support of the love of my life - a new home, less clutter, more determination. Work has given me some tools - a doc saved with a table of potential agents, a doc saved with a table of beta readers. 

Sometimes I still fear the reaper, and that my brain will slide off track. I've made a few rules for myself:

- No getting out of bed to write down ideas after lights out
- Writing time is different than the time I use to build a platform and brand - I can't do it all at once. 
- Nothing on paper other than one journal. Ideas are emailed to myself when needed and then added to the journal. 
- No using the notes app on my phone. (I'll never look at it again.)
- It's okay to submit to literary publications (spreadsheet for that as well, saved to docs)
- Remember that I can't get it all done in one day 

I sent a 1,200 word story to Chicken Soup for the Soul yesterday. I might run down to the basement and pull out some old poetry. Maybe find a digital lit mag and gather my best work for submission, but not today. I have work, meetings, and really want to use my downtime to pound out 3-5 thousand words. 

The other things will be there waiting. I can have my chicken soup and eat it, too. Brain, just watch me get it right this time.





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