Skip to main content

have you seen my stapler?

Wall. head. bangspice.

It has officially been a Monday. I have, in fact, a case of the Mondays.

Perhaps I am feeling a bit surly due to the state of utter failure that is my NCAA tournament bracket. I may as well have wiped my arse with the five dollars I spent to enter my own damn pool at work. The Kansas Jayhawks can run and flock themselves.

In other news, I have learned that my biggest failure as a writer is point of view. Apparently, even when writing in third-person omniscient, one cannot freely head-hop her way through a manuscript, even if it sounds really, really cool in her own head. It only confuses and annoys readers.

Now, rather than throwing in the towel, I'm trying to compile a list of references so that I can become a better writer. If anyone has reccomended remedial reading on POV, please leave a shout-out for me in the comments. Also, if anyone can think of good examples of novels written in omniscient third person POV, leave me those titles as well.

My muse and I will be eternally indebted to you.

Lastly, I would like you to know that I had an ab fab weekend, but since this Monday has swiftly kicked me in the you-knows, it all feels very far away, like it happened in a dream long ago. If you'll excuse me, there is a giant bottle of wine calling my name. I believe she wants to get me drunk and take advantage of me.

I think I'm going to let her.

Comments

EmcogNEATO! said…
I like to write, and like to imagine that one day I will pen some fantabulously awesome novel. However, I still have to look up what third person omniwhatsit means. So...

I'm sure you'll get the POV worked out. And then you will rockitspice (I promise, I only use your witticisms here. I don't steal them IRL.)
Elliott said…
Omniscience is overrated. Know-it-all...

I'll take a look back at notes, a friend of mine once 'lent' me a book on proper POV, I'll see if I can dig up the title for you.
Perfect post for a Monday. :) Sorry to hear about your POV thing, I'll have to see what I have on that. I have a friend who is like the POV police, so I'll ask her.
Melissa Hurst said…
I have a book that covers viewpoint. It's called "Character and Viewpoint" by Orson Scott Card (the author of Ender's Game). It really helped me out when I was trying to figure out how to even write a book.
MJenks said…
In my big book, my magnum opus, my chapter titles are usually a family name, and anyone in that family can be the POV telling the story in that chapter.

Once or twice, I'll break a chapter in the middle and I'll have someone else from the same family telling the story slightly differently. That's how I tackle things from different POVs. They're all looking at the same stuff, but it's through different lenses, and that's how the story advances.

In other stories, I tend to keep a main character or two and keep the POV from them.
Susan R. Mills said…
As a Kansas State fan, I don't care much for the Jayhawks in the first place, but they certainly did let their fans down, didn't they? As for POV, I can't be of much help there. I prefer first person or limited third person. This naturally keeps me from head hopping. Enjoy the wine. I think I'll join you.
Elana Johnson said…
LOL! What a great post. I'm sorry your Monday has been bad. Mine's been pretty great!

And I don't have any suggestions about omniscient. Um, good luck?!
Moll said…
I have yet to find a text on POV that is truly helpful. I think reading well written examples is the way to go. I'm writing in limited 3rd person so I don't have a ton off the top of my head, but here are a few:

Anna Karenina
Middlemarch
Sense and Sensibility (I think)

P.S. I am slammed today but am so glad to have found your blog. I will come back to read more. We have a lot in common (I'm an ex-banker/wannabe writer) and I also write literary fiction.
Unknown said…
Great post even though I'm unable to help! Sorry about stupid Kansas!!!

I tried third person for my POV and realized that I couldn't write like I wanted for my current WIP, writing first person helped do wonders but I have no idea how I was able to love it, I just do!

Melissa is right, that book is fantastic!!
pinkflopflops44 said…
booo... i had a great monday but only because i am counting down until vacation on friday at 11;24 am . ;)

how is spooky little girl treating ya?
~*~Lilly~*~ said…
Ha,ha,ha,ha! Oh damn you lent! I am not even catholic and you keep me from my vino addictions. Well instead tonight i have replaced you with a yummy giant bottle of DR cider beer. (a swift 2nd) So while you let your wine take advantage i will be here in NYC wondering...Should i possibly be building an ark to float my way out of this monsoon of a storm we are currently having? I swear i just saw a rat float by under my window on a piece of drift wood. lol
Amen, Sister. I let that bottle of wine take advantage of me -- and it feels ever so good. It's been one of those mondays for everyone, I think.
carissa said…
I am horrible at POV and have finally just learned t comes with that . I'm just going to need a really really good editor or a whole lot of adderol.

Let me know if you find a helpful guide!
Ashley Stone said…
Monday is over! Hope the rest of your week is kinder to you! If not... tell me and I'll beat it up for you.
Talli Roland said…
I hear you on the wine! But it's Tuesday now, and I hope you're feeling better.
Staples said…
Great post. Can't help myself to not stop laughing! Sorry that your Monday has been bad.

Good luck & don't stop writing!

Popular posts from this blog

Closing Arguments, Trial 3. The Defense: Closing the Case of Adnan Syed v Alice LaCour and Brett Talley

  Would Hae Have Liked Pineapple on Pizza? If it Pleases the Court... Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I want to start by thanking you for your time. It is no small task to put your lives on hold and focus in on the details and particulars and specifics of this case, and it may be a struggle to focus when you have to think about what you're missing at home. Your civil duty - and your willingness to fulfill it - does NOT go unnoticed. I mentioned "time." It's a relative, term, right? I had to wait in line at the post office for 15 minutes. I waited for the checkout gal at Wal-Mart for 20, because they didn't have enough lanes open. I don't know about you, but I try to be patient. Sometimes I fail to wait gracefully, but I really do try.  So. Look at Adnan. For over TWENTY-THREE YEARS he has been waiting... patiently. 23 years ago, I was about the same age as Adnan. I graduated high school in the spring of 1999, just like he did - or would have - had he not bee

20 Points in a Basic Story in the Botched Case Against Adnan Syed: I Must Be Insane as that's 5x More than any Other Basic Story Presentation I've Ever Seen

  Basic Story With 20 Points:  Could Adnan be Innocent? "It's not a cop-out; it's case law." ~Bob Ruff, host, Truth and Justice Pod   1 Adnan was the main suspect - Hae's family passed that along to Officer Adcock on the afternoon she disappeared. Originally, they suspected she might be with Don, even though she had to work at 6pm and had never once NOT brought her cousin home. Does anyone know how old the second cousin is? Two cousins lived with Hae. And Officer Adcock's Supplemental Report dated 1/13/99 states that Mr. Lee advises that she "did not pick up his two cousins from school.") Did they go to the same school, these cousins? Another question that could be explored is why Hae's uncle is the only immediately family member who doesn't live with Hae.  Another pain point for me - I'm confused as to why the cousins did not live with their dad, Hae's uncle... but look. Every family has different dynamics. I mean, I gues

Not The Nisha Call: Other Things to Consider in the Case of Adnan Syed

"If there is anything about my case, man - I want to know... I want to test it... There's nothing about my case that that I'm afraid of." - Adnan Syed Serial, Episode 12: What We Knew Instead of focusing on a flower and Jay's Changing Stories, Consider This: A) The policemen handling the Missing Persons Investigation did sloppy and lazy work. They back dated reports and failed to interview multiple people  thoroughly enough. B) The police did not interview the family robustly enough to understand what else might have been going on in Hae's life. They, to my knowledge, did not find a translator and instead relied on the guidance of her younger brother. C) A computer, a floppy disk containing electronic diary entries were noted and later went "missing"  D) Hae's email and AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) accounts were never researched thoroughly, and her online activity is relatively unknown, outside of her newly updated "away message" which s