Skip to main content

My "Fucher"

Over a year ago, my mom and dad decided to clean clutter out of their own house and, in an attempt to streamline, they went ahead and gave me boxes of things they had saved from my childhood -- if I'm honest, things I didn't really expect I see until they died or something gruesomespice like that.

Whatever, it's fine. I'm not complaining about it, even though it isn't like I really have the room in my house for boxes of cards I was given when I was five, or worksheets and stories I wrote in the second grade.

I hadn't even really dug into those boxes until last night.

I found one little "story" I wrote (and we'll use the word story lightly here) called MY FUCHER. (It took me a minute to realize I'd meant MY FUTURE.) Hilar.

My Fucher

I want to mary a boy who will stay home all day and clean the house. I would not stay home. I would work as a singer or hope to. I want to have a babey girl. I would name her Lynn or Trecey or Nciol. I would take good care of her.

I think it's awesome that I felt this way at the age of six.

Yes, I may have less yearning in the babey department these days, but I love knowing I was career driven even as a child.

Now I'm sort of drawn to these boxes from my past. I want to see what else six-year-old Amber had to say. She was a really cool kid in spite of some serious spelling issues.

Comments

MJenks said…
My parents threw all my shit out. Toys, papers, everything.

Like so many other things with my mother, my childhood ended in a dumpster.
Just Another Sarah said…
That is so incredibly awesome! I love looking through old papers and such. I wrote a story when I was about that age little called "Little Red Riding Mouse." It was about a mouse and a hawk and a visit to grandmother that went perfectly fine, since the hawk befriended the mouse instead of threatening to eat her. ...Yeah, not really gripping.
Elliott said…
I watched my father throw my childhood teddy bear into a dumpster, after I was already traumatized by barfing all over the interior of Dad's '74 Custom Cruiser.

Other than that, though, I have much of my childhood in boxes. I was made to take all possessions with me when I moved out. My sister, however, still has boxes and a PIANO there, despite moving out 13 years ago.

But I'm not bitter. Much.
Shandal said…
Oh that's too funny you wanted your husband to be a homemaker. lol I have no idea if my Mom kept my stuff or not. I'd assume not. My grandma might have some though.
Travener said…
Hyster. Have you offered the hubster the option of staying home?
Jm Diaz said…
That's awesome. Sp, how do you like your fucher?
Ashley Stone said…
haha, that's awesome! Don't we all want a man who stays home and cleans?! I couldn't spell worth a lick when I was little either. Very cute.
Leigh Hutchens Burch said…
mjenks - I'm sad that your things end up in the dumpster.

sarah - sounds like a cute little story!

elliott - i had a piano at my parents' house too... until the streamlining began and my mother allowed my father to cut it up and turn it into a stylish table. in fairness, it was HER childhood piano, but i always assumed i would end up getting it!

shandal - i hope your grandma has some of it! it would be fun to look through it with her. :)

trav - i only wish i made enough moolah for hubs to stay home. he would have a honey-do-list the size of my...

j.m. you motherfucher. :)

ashley - thanks! i wish i could afford to hire that all-male thong maid service. lol.
ha.. I would agree with 6 year old Amber. I want a husband who cleans. I would love to stay at home and do what I want and he could just clean up around me.. :)
You definitely need to frame that. What a fabulous little feminist you were! It reminds me of a magnet that I keep telling myself I'm going to purchase of a cute little girl saying, "Mommy, when I grow up I want to help smash the white racist, homophobic, patriarchal, bullshit paradigm too!"

Check it out!
P.S. I want a house-husband, too.
Tia said…
who DOESN'T want to marry a boy who will stay home and clean the house all day?? =)
Jerry C said…
Saw a sad thing when my mother-in-law died. My wife and her brother walked out of her house, just before it was to be sold, with one (1) cardboard box that contained all she had saved of her 86 years. (She was German, you see... and so were her kids. Me: Moma mia, I'ma Italiano. So brother said to sister (my wife)as they walked out of an imaculatly clean garage, wasn't that great of mom to make sure there was no mess or clutter for us to clean out? Well, no clutter, no mess, no fuss, no memories. My kids will throw out my shit... and have a wonderful time going through it... as I did for my folks...and still do of mine, from time to time. I'm not a believer in clean shelves, clean mind... and richer for it.

Popular posts from this blog

in which i have a birthday and a giveaway

The blogger as a child. p.s. it's my birthday. And people at Starbucks like me. (I did get this for free, but it was not for the benefit of my blog.)  (Obvi, it was a gift .) There's a cupcake in that box! There's a hazelnut latte in that cup! In other news, I'm having a 100 Followers/ It's my birthday giveaway. You should enter. I'm giving away the following goodies: 1. A $25.00 VISA giftcard. 2. An original poem, which will be hadwritten and autographed on pretty paper. It might be about love, about being a writer, or maybe the winner will be able to choose the topic. We shall see. This giveaway is a bit seatofthepantsspice. 3. A frame from my wedding day. In fact, this very frame: 4. A mystery. The fourth goodie will be a surprise until you open the package! 5. The whopper: I will dedicate a karaoke song to you, personally, and put it on my blog, vlogger style. If you want to enter this smashing contest: leave a comment. 1 entry if you follow and comme...

First Page Blogfester

Preface: TGIF. It has been a day. So. I'm participating in the First Page Blogfest in which writers around the blogosphere post the opening 24 lines of their WIP. (In a "real" book, this is the approximate amount of work that would appear on page 1!) This blogfest is being headed up by Kelly over at Kelly's Compositions . Please check out the other entries and leave them a comment on their work. My own WIP will be featured on Roni's Beta Club next week, and I chose an excerpt from the beginning one chapter one for critque over there, so today I'll give you the true beginning: the opening lines of my prologue. Here goes nothing. My working title is A SAD SONG IN A FLAT KEY Genre: Literary Fictionspice Prologue May 2005      Laurel sits Indian style. She faces the head of her bed and tries to focus on Cafe Terrace at Night, pretending it is priceless artwork instead of a cheap replica. She counts the tables first, and the...

Sarah, Plain and Tall

Seriously, Sarah? I am more irritated with you now than I was when you called Katie Couric perky on Oprah this week (and wasn't that the annoying pot calling the whistling kettle black?) and more irritated than I was when the interview with Katie Couric aired and you couldn't think of one book or magazine that you read on the regular. (Oh, I'm sorry - you chose not to disclos e the titles of books and magazines and newspaper you devour, because Katie Couric was annoying you and treating you like an uneducated inuit.) Maybe you should have just swallowed your ego and mentioned Newsweek. I mean, I'm not suggesting that the cover page would look different if you had, but could you try any harder to alienate the media? I know, I know, they are all evil, with their leftist agendas and loose morals. I understand. It's so difficult when the world won't give a feminist maverick a fighting chance, and harder still when that maverick has been ordered to stay on scrip...