Skip to main content

My "Fucher"

Over a year ago, my mom and dad decided to clean clutter out of their own house and, in an attempt to streamline, they went ahead and gave me boxes of things they had saved from my childhood -- if I'm honest, things I didn't really expect I see until they died or something gruesomespice like that.

Whatever, it's fine. I'm not complaining about it, even though it isn't like I really have the room in my house for boxes of cards I was given when I was five, or worksheets and stories I wrote in the second grade.

I hadn't even really dug into those boxes until last night.

I found one little "story" I wrote (and we'll use the word story lightly here) called MY FUCHER. (It took me a minute to realize I'd meant MY FUTURE.) Hilar.

My Fucher

I want to mary a boy who will stay home all day and clean the house. I would not stay home. I would work as a singer or hope to. I want to have a babey girl. I would name her Lynn or Trecey or Nciol. I would take good care of her.

I think it's awesome that I felt this way at the age of six.

Yes, I may have less yearning in the babey department these days, but I love knowing I was career driven even as a child.

Now I'm sort of drawn to these boxes from my past. I want to see what else six-year-old Amber had to say. She was a really cool kid in spite of some serious spelling issues.

Comments

MJenks said…
My parents threw all my shit out. Toys, papers, everything.

Like so many other things with my mother, my childhood ended in a dumpster.
That is so incredibly awesome! I love looking through old papers and such. I wrote a story when I was about that age little called "Little Red Riding Mouse." It was about a mouse and a hawk and a visit to grandmother that went perfectly fine, since the hawk befriended the mouse instead of threatening to eat her. ...Yeah, not really gripping.
Elliott said…
I watched my father throw my childhood teddy bear into a dumpster, after I was already traumatized by barfing all over the interior of Dad's '74 Custom Cruiser.

Other than that, though, I have much of my childhood in boxes. I was made to take all possessions with me when I moved out. My sister, however, still has boxes and a PIANO there, despite moving out 13 years ago.

But I'm not bitter. Much.
Shandal said…
Oh that's too funny you wanted your husband to be a homemaker. lol I have no idea if my Mom kept my stuff or not. I'd assume not. My grandma might have some though.
Travener said…
Hyster. Have you offered the hubster the option of staying home?
Jm Diaz said…
That's awesome. Sp, how do you like your fucher?
Ashley Stone said…
haha, that's awesome! Don't we all want a man who stays home and cleans?! I couldn't spell worth a lick when I was little either. Very cute.
mjenks - I'm sad that your things end up in the dumpster.

sarah - sounds like a cute little story!

elliott - i had a piano at my parents' house too... until the streamlining began and my mother allowed my father to cut it up and turn it into a stylish table. in fairness, it was HER childhood piano, but i always assumed i would end up getting it!

shandal - i hope your grandma has some of it! it would be fun to look through it with her. :)

trav - i only wish i made enough moolah for hubs to stay home. he would have a honey-do-list the size of my...

j.m. you motherfucher. :)

ashley - thanks! i wish i could afford to hire that all-male thong maid service. lol.
ha.. I would agree with 6 year old Amber. I want a husband who cleans. I would love to stay at home and do what I want and he could just clean up around me.. :)
You definitely need to frame that. What a fabulous little feminist you were! It reminds me of a magnet that I keep telling myself I'm going to purchase of a cute little girl saying, "Mommy, when I grow up I want to help smash the white racist, homophobic, patriarchal, bullshit paradigm too!"

Check it out!
P.S. I want a house-husband, too.
Tia said…
who DOESN'T want to marry a boy who will stay home and clean the house all day?? =)
Jerry C said…
Saw a sad thing when my mother-in-law died. My wife and her brother walked out of her house, just before it was to be sold, with one (1) cardboard box that contained all she had saved of her 86 years. (She was German, you see... and so were her kids. Me: Moma mia, I'ma Italiano. So brother said to sister (my wife)as they walked out of an imaculatly clean garage, wasn't that great of mom to make sure there was no mess or clutter for us to clean out? Well, no clutter, no mess, no fuss, no memories. My kids will throw out my shit... and have a wonderful time going through it... as I did for my folks...and still do of mine, from time to time. I'm not a believer in clean shelves, clean mind... and richer for it.

Popular posts from this blog

Closing Arguments, Trial 3. The Defense: Closing the Case of Adnan Syed v Alice LaCour and Brett Talley

  Would Hae Have Liked Pineapple on Pizza? If it Pleases the Court... Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I want to start by thanking you for your time. It is no small task to put your lives on hold and focus in on the details and particulars and specifics of this case, and it may be a struggle to focus when you have to think about what you're missing at home. Your civil duty - and your willingness to fulfill it - does NOT go unnoticed. I mentioned "time." It's a relative, term, right? I had to wait in line at the post office for 15 minutes. I waited for the checkout gal at Wal-Mart for 20, because they didn't have enough lanes open. I don't know about you, but I try to be patient. Sometimes I fail to wait gracefully, but I really do try.  So. Look at Adnan. For over TWENTY-THREE YEARS he has been waiting... patiently. 23 years ago, I was about the same age as Adnan. I graduated high school in the spring of 1999, just like he did - or would have - had he not bee

20 Points in a Basic Story in the Botched Case Against Adnan Syed: I Must Be Insane as that's 5x More than any Other Basic Story Presentation I've Ever Seen

  Basic Story With 20 Points:  Could Adnan be Innocent? "It's not a cop-out; it's case law." ~Bob Ruff, host, Truth and Justice Pod   1 Adnan was the main suspect - Hae's family passed that along to Officer Adcock on the afternoon she disappeared. Originally, they suspected she might be with Don, even though she had to work at 6pm and had never once NOT brought her cousin home. Does anyone know how old the second cousin is? Two cousins lived with Hae. And Officer Adcock's Supplemental Report dated 1/13/99 states that Mr. Lee advises that she "did not pick up his two cousins from school.") Did they go to the same school, these cousins? Another question that could be explored is why Hae's uncle is the only immediately family member who doesn't live with Hae.  Another pain point for me - I'm confused as to why the cousins did not live with their dad, Hae's uncle... but look. Every family has different dynamics. I mean, I gues

Not The Nisha Call: Other Things to Consider in the Case of Adnan Syed

"If there is anything about my case, man - I want to know... I want to test it... There's nothing about my case that that I'm afraid of." - Adnan Syed Serial, Episode 12: What We Knew Instead of focusing on a flower and Jay's Changing Stories, Consider This: A) The policemen handling the Missing Persons Investigation did sloppy and lazy work. They back dated reports and failed to interview multiple people  thoroughly enough. B) The police did not interview the family robustly enough to understand what else might have been going on in Hae's life. They, to my knowledge, did not find a translator and instead relied on the guidance of her younger brother. C) A computer, a floppy disk containing electronic diary entries were noted and later went "missing"  D) Hae's email and AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) accounts were never researched thoroughly, and her online activity is relatively unknown, outside of her newly updated "away message" which s