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Dear Santa,

As you well know, I've been an extremely good girl this year. Not only have I stopped using my credit cards, but I have also cut down on my spending by eating lunch at home during the week. I really miss Jersey Mikes and Panera Bread and Five Guys Burgers and Fries.

Here is what I want, you jolly old man...

1. A good hair straightener that doesn't cost $15.00 and isn't sold at Wal-Mart. I've heard you can get a decent one at Ulta. (It doesn't even have to be pink.)

2. A houndstooth coat. I realize that basic black might be better, so if you think the houndstooth pattern is a trend, Santa, then I'll understand. Please just choose something that won't show tan doggy hair.

3. There are so many books I'd like to read, Santa. Here are a few that are on my must-read list.

* The Post Secret Books. All of them. I'd prefer if you'd choose copies in which strangers have hand written their own secrets, if it isn't too much trouble.

* The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver

* Wishin' and Hopin' by Wally Lamb

* The Little Friend by Donna Tartt

* Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

* The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold

* The Senator's Wife by Sue Miller

* Any books on the craft of writing that are recommended by the North Pole book shop.

* Any short story anthology of your choosing

Those oughta keep me out of trouble in the early part of '09, Santa.

4. I know it isn't easy to shop for women's clothes, Saint Nick, but this VISA gift card will suffice. I can spend those cold January days at the mall, and it would save you a ton of time.

5. While we're talking about gift cards, you could throw in some for lunch so I don't always have to eat leftovers and Lean Cuisine.

6. I could really use a new digital camera, Claus. I'm not loyal to any particular brand -- I'm sure pretty much everything is an upgrade from my hp Photosmart piece of ~~shit~~ junk. (Sorry, Santa.)

7. Tickets to an Indiana basketball game would be nice, but if you can't make that happen, then could I at least get a pair of candy-striped warm up pants?

8. I'd really like to start applying my foundation with a make-up brush. Can you help make this happen, Santa? Go to the MAC counter; they'll know what to do.

9. Victoria's Secret Love Spell Stuff. Pllllease?!

10. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men, and new gutters for the house. "Nuff said, right Santa?

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