Skip to main content

check it twice

Dear Santa,

As you well know, I've been an extremely good girl this year. Not only have I stopped using my credit cards, but I have also cut down on my spending by eating lunch at home during the week. I really miss Jersey Mikes and Panera Bread and Five Guys Burgers and Fries.

Here is what I want, you jolly old man...

1. A good hair straightener that doesn't cost $15.00 and isn't sold at Wal-Mart. I've heard you can get a decent one at Ulta. (It doesn't even have to be pink.)

2. A houndstooth coat. I realize that basic black might be better, so if you think the houndstooth pattern is a trend, Santa, then I'll understand. Please just choose something that won't show tan doggy hair.



3. There are so many books I'd like to read, Santa. Here are a few that are on my must-read list.
* The Post Secret Books. All of them. I'd prefer if you'd choose copies in which strangers have hand written their own secrets, if it isn't too much trouble.
* The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver
* Wishin' and Hopin' by Wally Lamb
* The Little Friend by Donna Tartt
* Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
* The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold
* The Senator's Wife by Sue Miller
* Any books on the craft of writing that are recommended by the North Pole book shop.
* Any short story anthology of your choosing

Those oughta keep me out of trouble in the early part of '09, Santa.

4. I know it isn't easy to shop for women's clothes, Saint Nick, but this VISA gift card will suffice. I can spend those cold January days at the mall, and it would save you a ton of time.



5. While we're talking about gift cards, you could throw in some for lunch so I don't always have to eat leftovers and Lean Cuisine.




6. I could really use a new digital camera, Claus. I'm not loyal to any particular brand -- I'm sure pretty much everything is an upgrade from my hp Photosmart piece of shit junk. (Sorry, Santa.)




7. Tickets to an Indiana basketball game would be nice, but if you can't make that happen, then could I at least get a pair of candy-striped warm up pants?



8. I'd really like to start applying my foundation with a make-up brush. Can you help make this happen, Santa? Go to the MAC counter; they'll know what to do.



9. Victoria's Secret Love Spell Stuff. Pllllease?!




10. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men, and new gutters for the house. "Nuff said, right Santa?

Comments

Tina Lynn said…
I want tickets to Phantom of the Opera. Please!!!
carissajaded said…
I think I'm gonna have to write my letter to santa soon, and I think I have many of the same items on my wish list. Namely the straightener. I have gone through about 3 cheap ones in the last year. And also the $500 gift card. I'll take four of those. Or 6. And should just about cover it. Oh, and a new car...
Shandal said…
I have that CHI straightener, LOVE IT!
Organic Meatbag said…
Amber, I'll personally see to it that you get all of this stuff... Santa owes me a favor since I saved his ass in 'nam...hahahahah
MJenks said…
You could walk into my office right now, kick me as hard as you possibly can in the groin, and yet, thanks to number 7, you will always have a warm, safe place in your heart.
jayme said…
Could you please ask for two copies of the post secret book? I haven't been good enough this year to get anything so maybe you could be a doll and just get an extra one for me! and the candy striped pajama pants PLEASEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Santa said…
Whatever you want, babe.
I could go for about all of that list as well.
The Daily Rant said…
Your list is great. I can never, and I mean NEVER come up with anything that I want when asked, "What do you want for Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary?" I'm so lame that way. Now you've prompted me to actually go make my Christmas list AND post it on my blog. Thanks a lot....I didn't need that pressure. LOL
The Daily Rant said…
Oh...and houndstooth is classic, not trendy. So go for it!

Popular posts from this blog

in which i have a birthday and a giveaway

The blogger as a child. p.s. it's my birthday. And people at Starbucks like me. (I did get this for free, but it was not for the benefit of my blog.)  (Obvi, it was a gift .) There's a cupcake in that box! There's a hazelnut latte in that cup! In other news, I'm having a 100 Followers/ It's my birthday giveaway. You should enter. I'm giving away the following goodies: 1. A $25.00 VISA giftcard. 2. An original poem, which will be hadwritten and autographed on pretty paper. It might be about love, about being a writer, or maybe the winner will be able to choose the topic. We shall see. This giveaway is a bit seatofthepantsspice. 3. A frame from my wedding day. In fact, this very frame: 4. A mystery. The fourth goodie will be a surprise until you open the package! 5. The whopper: I will dedicate a karaoke song to you, personally, and put it on my blog, vlogger style. If you want to enter this smashing contest: leave a comment. 1 entry if you follow and comme...

First Page Blogfester

Preface: TGIF. It has been a day. So. I'm participating in the First Page Blogfest in which writers around the blogosphere post the opening 24 lines of their WIP. (In a "real" book, this is the approximate amount of work that would appear on page 1!) This blogfest is being headed up by Kelly over at Kelly's Compositions . Please check out the other entries and leave them a comment on their work. My own WIP will be featured on Roni's Beta Club next week, and I chose an excerpt from the beginning one chapter one for critque over there, so today I'll give you the true beginning: the opening lines of my prologue. Here goes nothing. My working title is A SAD SONG IN A FLAT KEY Genre: Literary Fictionspice Prologue May 2005      Laurel sits Indian style. She faces the head of her bed and tries to focus on Cafe Terrace at Night, pretending it is priceless artwork instead of a cheap replica. She counts the tables first, and the...

Sarah, Plain and Tall

Seriously, Sarah? I am more irritated with you now than I was when you called Katie Couric perky on Oprah this week (and wasn't that the annoying pot calling the whistling kettle black?) and more irritated than I was when the interview with Katie Couric aired and you couldn't think of one book or magazine that you read on the regular. (Oh, I'm sorry - you chose not to disclos e the titles of books and magazines and newspaper you devour, because Katie Couric was annoying you and treating you like an uneducated inuit.) Maybe you should have just swallowed your ego and mentioned Newsweek. I mean, I'm not suggesting that the cover page would look different if you had, but could you try any harder to alienate the media? I know, I know, they are all evil, with their leftist agendas and loose morals. I understand. It's so difficult when the world won't give a feminist maverick a fighting chance, and harder still when that maverick has been ordered to stay on scrip...