T
The truth is, I've really been hating my day job.
It feels good to say that out loud on the page.
I don't want to tell everyone, but it's sucking the life out of me. However, I'm a real asshole for complaining about it.
I have a good gig. I make a really good salary. I get to be challenged like never before in my fifteen years in the industry. The company I work for (the people who represent it) have given me promotion after promotion, believed in me and allowed me to rise through the ranks to sit where I do today.
Which is at home, warm and in my pajamas, because I don't have any client meetings or zoom calls today.
The culture itself has always been team oriented.
I no longer have sales goals. I don't have quotas to meet, I don't feel compelled to hit "numbers," and my annual bonus doesn't depend on anything like that.
There is no struggle to fill my fridge, keep the lights on, and no need to think too hard before spending money on all the Mom Beverages, Stitch Fix boxes full of clothing that I might wear In Real Life someday, and no worry that I won't be able to (somewhat comfortably) retire in some couple of decades.
The problem is, there is a way out.
Before I got remarried, my job meant survival. It was just my daughter, me, and my house. I paid all the bills, and on time, and I had no choice but to rise through the ranks to be able to sustain us.
Now that I have Second Husband, we could afford for me to throw in the towel. He's on board, if I can't take it any longer.
I could get a part time job, even, work at my daughter's school, substitute teaching. Work at a cafe, or in the library, go back to popcorn pushing at the movie theatre while I write on the side and work toward my MFA in writing.
I just don't know if I can give it up. There's an ego that says I can do it all - continue to become a Real Writer, while the mental energy is drained out of me during business hours.
How did you decide to give up a Big Corporate Job?
Comments