When Your Self Talk Needs an Attitude Adjustment

Anyone else really hard on themselves, or is that just me? (Thank god I have a therapy session at 4:00 today. I could save this for later, but, if feels good to spill this out.)

I mentioned yesterday - I've been so exhausted. I really chalk it up to the new medication, but internally, my self-talk has been off-the-charts negative.

Yeah, so I'm tired and feel like I need a nap to function. So what? Why is that a character flaw?

I also took a look at alltheotherreasons I might be tired:

I'm not drinking enough water, I'm over-doing it on alcohol and caffeine, I'm eating too many fried foods (and ordering too many meals from Door Dash) and I like, never exercise.

Yeah, these are all choices and habits and items I can improve on, but I was essentially telling myself that I pretty much deserve to feel like crap.

I sit here with a giant ice water in front of me, and a giant WTF, self?! at the forefront of my brain.

You guys have no idea how lucky I am. I have a gorgeous house that backs up to a lake, a gorgeous husband who not only takes care of the household finances, but truly takes care of me - he's never hard on me. He believes in me. He fully supports my dreams, and champions my writing.

I have so much good around me. I don't know what is holding me back from accepting it.

Maybe it's the rejections from literary agents. I know, they don't mean to cause me to lose my shit each time they send me an email that's a pass, but man.... it's tough.

In the end, I know I have a choice. My emotions are okay. Being tired is okay. If I want a Philly Cheese Steak and a beer for dinner tonight, that's okay, too.

Self, repeat after me:

You don't have to be perfect.

You are good enough.

You deserve to be happy.

Thank you, self, for listening.

Comments

in which i have a birthday and a giveaway

The blogger as a child. p.s. it's my birthday. And people at Starbucks like me. (I did get this for free, but it was not for the benefit of my blog.) (Obvi, it was a gift .) There's a cupcake in that box! There's a hazelnut latte in that cup! In other news, I'm having a 100 Followers/ It's my birthday giveaway. You should enter. I'm giving away the following goodies: 1. A $25.00 VISA giftcard. 2. An original poem, which will be hadwritten and autographed on pretty paper. It might be about love, about being a writer, or maybe the winner will be able to choose the topic. We shall see. This giveaway is a bit seatofthepantsspice. 3. A frame from my wedding day. In fact, this very frame: 4. A mystery. The fourth goodie will be a surprise until you open the package! 5. The whopper: I will dedicate a karaoke song to you, personally, and put it on my blog, vlogger style. If you want to enter this smashing contest: leave a comment. 1 entry if you follow and comme...

First Page Blogfester

Preface: TGIF. It has been a day. So. I'm participating in the First Page Blogfest in which writers around the blogosphere post the opening 24 lines of their WIP. (In a "real" book, this is the approximate amount of work that would appear on page 1!) This blogfest is being headed up by Kelly over at Kelly's Compositions . Please check out the other entries and leave them a comment on their work. My own WIP will be featured on Roni's Beta Club next week, and I chose an excerpt from the beginning one chapter one for critque over there, so today I'll give you the true beginning: the opening lines of my prologue. Here goes nothing. My working title is A SAD SONG IN A FLAT KEY Genre: Literary Fictionspice Prologue May 2005 Laurel sits Indian style. She faces the head of her bed and tries to focus on Cafe Terrace at Night, pretending it is priceless artwork instead of a cheap replica. She counts the tables first, and the...

Sarah, Plain and Tall

Seriously, Sarah? I am more irritated with you now than I was when you called Katie Couric perky on Oprah this week (and wasn't that the annoying pot calling the whistling kettle black?) and more irritated than I was when the interview with Katie Couric aired and you couldn't think of one book or magazine that you read on the regular. (Oh, I'm sorry - you chose not to disclos e the titles of books and magazines and newspaper you devour, because Katie Couric was annoying you and treating you like an uneducated inuit.) Maybe you should have just swallowed your ego and mentioned Newsweek. I mean, I'm not suggesting that the cover page would look different if you had, but could you try any harder to alienate the media? I know, I know, they are all evil, with their leftist agendas and loose morals. I understand. It's so difficult when the world won't give a feminist maverick a fighting chance, and harder still when that maverick has been ordered to stay on scrip...

Too Many Books

Search This Blog