Skip to main content

Control Issues, Though

S


Sunday brought me so many breakthroughs in therapy, but I didn't have a session with my therapist or anything. I was just at home all day, socially distancing and self discovering.

First, hubs helped me edit my query, which expanded into him helping me edit the opening paragraphs of my manuscript, which expanded into he's on page 122 of 254 right now and it's almost one in the morning.

But tomorrow's labor day, and we're off.

At first, I had a really hard time with hubs trying to restructure the blurb section of my query. What was weird: I'd paid two editors to help with both my query and my synopsis. A man, for whom I had pushback, and a woman, who took my synopsis from two pages to one - I had no issues with her.

Why did I give hubs so much beef? (It wasn't really beef. He knows this isn't easy for me.) My book is personal, and yeah, he was right next door to me on the couch, and my immediate reaction was to defend my position on anything he thought might need tweaked. There wasn't the distance of a stranger to whom I am paying money because they have presented themselves as competent and held themselves out as experts in the field.

Hubs is mad talented, though. He does a ton of technical writing for his Real Job. And, loving me is also his Real Job. 

I just had this moment of not being able to let go and let him help, as I'm wont to do. 

Why am I such a control freak in my intrapersonal relationships?

Abandonment issues.

Boom.

More to come on my breakthroughs. At least Two more thing for sure.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

fetal friday?

I know that I left everyone hanging yesterday. You know, when I went to pee on that stick. (That was mean of me. Not the peeing, but the leaving hanging.) Well, I think the big reveal is best expressed in letter form. Deep breath. Here goes. dear unborn baby daughter son or daughter, I take it back. I take back everything I said about not wanting kids. I was just scaredspice, and the slightest bit selfish, and maybe I had a giant fear of commitment. But, three positive test results in the last eighteen hours seem to say that you actually are in there, getting all comfy. I guess you'll probably be here in mid-December. I never thought about having a Christmas baby. (You've really put a wrench in my whole taking-maternity-leave-during-the-NCAA-tournament plan, but that's okay. At least it's basketball season. Don't tell Daddy yet, but you are going to cheer for the Indiana Hoosiers.) Speaking of Daddy, I take back all the mean things I've ever sa...

Last Call: John O'Keefe's Journey from Waterfall to Fairview (12:11:09am - 12:21:09)

I tend to bury the lead, so let me say this up front: I won't get to any of it in this post, but by 12:24:22am on January 29, 2022, John O'Keefe had arrived at 34 Fairview, gone into the house, been incapacitated, and had been dragged down the two short flights of stairs down to the basement, and up the stairs to and through the bulkhead door.  Yes. All of this happened by 12:24:22am. And here's how I started my research this week to figure it out: When I decided to look at timeline, I didn't think I'd spend all my free time in an entire DAY focusing on the short time frame of 12:11am - 12:21:09. I wanted to go "back to the start" (shoutout to Coldplay!) and figure out what the time discrepancy was really all about. I started with steps: Hyde (report) 12:11:09 - 12:21:09 170 steps 326 feet Guarino (testimony) 12:11:09 – 12:21:05 170 steps 326 feet Whiffin (report) ...

a little ashamed

I've been feeling a little guilty lately. I think I'm sort of obsessed with my own blog. Seriously, I adore coming home for lunch in the middle of my workday. My plan is always to sit down and write. It's the perfect time to work. There are no distractions (other than the hungry rumble in my tummy) or reasons that I shouldn't be able to churn out a good amount of words before I head back to the world of checking account deposits and cash-in tickets. However, I find that when I come home for lunch, all I want to do is blog. My reader is full as a good girl's Christmas stocking, and then there's my own post -- just waiting to be written. Something alarmingly witty, for sure. Something that will generate the multiple comments I will hungrily read from my cell phone when I sneak out for a cigarette break at 4:00. So, I avoid the writing -- you know, of the fiction variety. I sit here, instead watching the text fill the blank screen of a New Po...