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Control Issues, Though

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Sunday brought me so many breakthroughs in therapy, but I didn't have a session with my therapist or anything. I was just at home all day, socially distancing and self discovering.

First, hubs helped me edit my query, which expanded into him helping me edit the opening paragraphs of my manuscript, which expanded into he's on page 122 of 254 right now and it's almost one in the morning.

But tomorrow's labor day, and we're off.

At first, I had a really hard time with hubs trying to restructure the blurb section of my query. What was weird: I'd paid two editors to help with both my query and my synopsis. A man, for whom I had pushback, and a woman, who took my synopsis from two pages to one - I had no issues with her.

Why did I give hubs so much beef? (It wasn't really beef. He knows this isn't easy for me.) My book is personal, and yeah, he was right next door to me on the couch, and my immediate reaction was to defend my position on anything he thought might need tweaked. There wasn't the distance of a stranger to whom I am paying money because they have presented themselves as competent and held themselves out as experts in the field.

Hubs is mad talented, though. He does a ton of technical writing for his Real Job. And, loving me is also his Real Job. 

I just had this moment of not being able to let go and let him help, as I'm wont to do. 

Why am I such a control freak in my intrapersonal relationships?

Abandonment issues.

Boom.

More to come on my breakthroughs. At least Two more thing for sure.

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