Oh, Thursday. I relish it when you roll around, you with your TMI Tradition. You allow me to open up -- to be honest, and to have an excuse to overshare. You drape me in bravery, in robes of full disclosure. (That reads like an oxymoron, doesn't it? Robes of full disclosure.)
#1. I've been semi-scared to poop ever since I found out that I am with child. Mostly, this results in me holding it until I no longer have the need to grunt or squeeze. You're welcome.
#2. Hubs hasn't once tried to get busy with me in the bedroom. Instead, when I (gently) push on my bladder-area and tell him it feels different -- harder -- he's like "don't push on it too much!"
#3. In an diversion from the norm, hubs said the sweetest thing last night when he got home. He said, "I read online that the baby's spinal cord is developing right about now. I almost cried." (Wait. I'm back: Hubs is such a girl.)
#4. I've had zero spotting.
#5. I think I have a little bit of an infection near my who-ha. (Near my panty line.) It's like a bug bite or ingrownspice hair or something, and in the past couple of days it's swollen up to the size of a small gumball. It's sore as an.y.thing. I got kinda worried and showed hubs, who insanely offered to pop it. He was all up in my beezwax with a flashlight, and told me to bite down on something. I was all, "Get the bloddy hell away from me right this instant!" Upon reflection, perhaps said ugly-red-mass is the reason hubs does not seem to want to get jiggy with me.
#6. Number five was probably THE raunchiest thing I have EVER posted. It. felt. fantastic.
#7. I called my sibling, who is a nurse, and she said my baby is hogging all my antibodies, and to call my doctor and let her know about the ordeal. I called, and now I get to go to my first appointment a week early! (I go Wednesday 4/28 instead of 5/5.) They said to go to the Prompt Care place if it gets worse. Currently, I'm hot-washclothing it. It feels nice.
#8. Still craving nicotine and smoking the occasional cigarette. Go ahead and judge me. It's harder than I thought it would be to quit. I've cut waaaay down, though. I'm going to talk to my Dr. about getting the chewing gum, which isn't a fantastic alternative, but is healthier for baby and me than the toxins in cigs.
#9. Feel overwhelming guilt about #8. Please don't flog me too much.
#10. I refuse to become a mommy-blogger. I refuse to become a mommy-blogger. I refuse to become a mommy-blogger. I mean, you know, one of those who blogs solely about kid stuff. Not that there is anything wrong with that -- but that just isn't really me. Remind me of this moment in seven to nine months, okay?
Scared to click publish post.
More scared than ever before.
But, believe it or not people... I'm human. I sometimes get zits (usually not in such places) and occasionally make mistakes and have a hard time exerting will-power.
If you still love me, you rock.
Because you know you have flaws, too.
It's just that yours might not be the size of a gobstopper or located on your vajenga.
#1. I've been semi-scared to poop ever since I found out that I am with child. Mostly, this results in me holding it until I no longer have the need to grunt or squeeze. You're welcome.
#2. Hubs hasn't once tried to get busy with me in the bedroom. Instead, when I (gently) push on my bladder-area and tell him it feels different -- harder -- he's like "don't push on it too much!"
#3. In an diversion from the norm, hubs said the sweetest thing last night when he got home. He said, "I read online that the baby's spinal cord is developing right about now. I almost cried." (Wait. I'm back: Hubs is such a girl.)
#4. I've had zero spotting.
#5. I think I have a little bit of an infection near my who-ha. (Near my panty line.) It's like a bug bite or ingrownspice hair or something, and in the past couple of days it's swollen up to the size of a small gumball. It's sore as an.y.thing. I got kinda worried and showed hubs, who insanely offered to pop it. He was all up in my beezwax with a flashlight, and told me to bite down on something. I was all, "Get the bloddy hell away from me right this instant!" Upon reflection, perhaps said ugly-red-mass is the reason hubs does not seem to want to get jiggy with me.
#6. Number five was probably THE raunchiest thing I have EVER posted. It. felt. fantastic.
#7. I called my sibling, who is a nurse, and she said my baby is hogging all my antibodies, and to call my doctor and let her know about the ordeal. I called, and now I get to go to my first appointment a week early! (I go Wednesday 4/28 instead of 5/5.) They said to go to the Prompt Care place if it gets worse. Currently, I'm hot-washclothing it. It feels nice.
#8. Still craving nicotine and smoking the occasional cigarette. Go ahead and judge me. It's harder than I thought it would be to quit. I've cut waaaay down, though. I'm going to talk to my Dr. about getting the chewing gum, which isn't a fantastic alternative, but is healthier for baby and me than the toxins in cigs.
#9. Feel overwhelming guilt about #8. Please don't flog me too much.
#10. I refuse to become a mommy-blogger. I refuse to become a mommy-blogger. I refuse to become a mommy-blogger. I mean, you know, one of those who blogs solely about kid stuff. Not that there is anything wrong with that -- but that just isn't really me. Remind me of this moment in seven to nine months, okay?
Scared to click publish post.
More scared than ever before.
But, believe it or not people... I'm human. I sometimes get zits (usually not in such places) and occasionally make mistakes and have a hard time exerting will-power.
If you still love me, you rock.
Because you know you have flaws, too.
It's just that yours might not be the size of a gobstopper or located on your vajenga.
Comments
:)
also #8 its better to slow way down then to just quit cuz then the baby will be fiending for it also. :)~
Congrats!!
Loved the post...:o)
I would say, in my completely non-medical opinion, that it is an ingrown hair.
And I still love ya!
love ya and your stories.. ;)
oh and don't you know that once you become with child/a mother everybody judges everything about you because it is totally their business and all that jazz.
Haha....
Can't believe I didn't lose a single follower today!
I remember I was at a Motley Crue concert when I was like 7 months along and the baby kicked as the music got louder and I was like-oh no, I'm going to make him deaf. (FTR, he didn't come out with any hearing problems, but he has since birth preferred 80s hair metal to lullabies. So I've ruined him for life.)
And yeah, he's a girl! My hubs did the same thing.
And please, do not hold in the poop. I totally know what you mean about being scared to, I was scared to, too. But you're going to pop a roid (a hemorrhoid, that is) if you hold it in. And as you get bigger and more pressure is put on that area, you're not going to want to chance that.
Because here's a little TMI Thursday for you that I cannot B.E.L.I.E.V.E. I am going to post here publicly (but going to anyway, hoping it feels as good as you say it does): roids never go away.
EVER!
You are so the typical first time preggers. I'm sorry; I laughed and I'm so glad you posted this.
Let me just say the only way to get through your first pregnancy is to get through it. Cliche, I know, but true.
You both sound so adorable.
Note: take the anti B's. I've had 5kids, and yeast infections and gestational diabeties with all. And all births so big they thought I'd need c-sections. That little germ will fare better than you during it all, trust me.
Live your normal life; but milk the hubby for every concession you can get out of him. It only works with the first. He learns too.
You're healthy, vibrant, and self aware. Congratulations on your pregnancy!!
.........dhole
TMI thursdays rock. (P.S. congrats on baby!)
Well, it's nice to meet you and congratulations on the bumble bee buzzing around way up where husbands fear to tread.